Romance scams involve using people’s emotions and feelings of attachment to extract money from them. Social media and dating apps have significantly changed the way relationships are formed. While these tools usually facilitate sincere interactions between people, they can also be used to malicious ends.

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Understanding romance scams

By building a strong, intimate virtual relationship, fraudsters create an emotional bond with their targets in order to get them to trust them completely. They then use that bond to manipulate their victims and to ask them for money under a variety of pretexts, often related to emergency situations or joint projects, or lure them with promises of high-return investments that often have no other purpose than to swindle money out of them.

Red flags

Romance scams often start off innocently enough, but you may see the red flags of a scam very early on, including:

  • The individual claims to have feelings for you even though you’ve never met them in person. The fraudster will try to seduce you and hope that you will be so blinded by the excitement of your budding relationship that you will let your guard down. Be especially vigilant if an individual who is a lot younger than you tells you that “love knows no age.”
  • The individual asks you to continue chatting with them on an app like WhatsApp. Dating platforms often delete profiles flagged as suspicious. If a fraudster asks you to continue chatting on another platform, it’s because they don’t want to lose contact with you. The fraudster may explain their request by telling you that they’ve deleted their profile because they know you’re “the one.”
  • The individual lives or works in a different country. They may tell you they can’t meet up with you because they are in a different country (which, in many cases, may be true), and promise you that a date will happen. They will always have an excuse ready for putting off the date and asking you for more money.
  • The individual’s photo looks suspicious. Fraudsters generally don’t use actual photos of themselves. Instead, they steal the photos of people they don’t know to create attractive profiles.

Above all else, money becomes a topic of discussion very early on

When money becomes a frequent or intense topic of conversation very early on, it should awaken your mistrust. The person starts bringing up money-related topics and eventually offers you investment opportunities or asks you for a cash loan or gift.

Common reasons include:

  • investment opportunities, especially in crypto
  • real estate projects
  • business opportunities
  • the desire to join you or travel with you
  • a personal emergency, such as medical or legal costs

The fraudster will make repeated requests for money, initially asking for small amounts, then working their way up to ever larger amounts, resulting in potentially substantial losses. Sooner or later, the fraudster will vanish with all your money.

Hélène and Paul

Hélène dreams of finding her soulmate. She signs up for a dating app and receives a message from Paul, an entrepreneur living abroad. He is charming, considerate and a good listener. They swap photos and confidences. Hélène feels special. She eventually comes to believe she’s found someone genuine.

Trust sets in

Paul asks to continue chatting on WhatsApp. “It's easier,” thinks Hélène, so she agrees.

Every day, he messages her, takes an interest in her plans and shares his dreams with her. She finds the sense of togetherness reassuring. He claims he lives abroad and holds a prestigious job.

When Hélène suggests a video call, he claims to have a poor Internet connection. In his pictures, he is always impeccable—almost too perfect, like someone straight out of a fashion magazine. She tells herself that he’s just stylish. And besides, he’s so attentive that the contradictions quickly fade away.

Money enters the picture

Little by little, Paul drops references to ambitious plans into the conversation. He talks about wanting to share “safe, very profitable” investment opportunities with her. “I want to do it for you, for your future,” he writes. Hélène hesitates. She rereads his messages and thinks about everything he has confided in her and the trust she has placed in him over the past weeks. She finally agrees to send him $300.

Then, seduced by his reassuring words and promises, she invests more. When people close to her advise her to be cautious, she gets angry. After all, Paul has always been supportive and made her feel special. How can she doubt him now?

Everything falls apart

A few months later, the whole thing falls apart. Paul disappears, taking the money –and Hélène's trust—with him. All of it—the messages, the promises, the attention—was just a charade. She feels ashamed, angry and humiliated. The consequences go beyond the money she’s lost: her self-esteem has been shattered, she can’t sleep at night, and she has some tough decisions to make. Asking for help isn’t easy when you’re feeling judged.

And yet, it’s not Hélène’s fault. Fraudsters exploit our emotions. Rebuilding her self-worth will take time and support.

Tips and advice to avoid this type of fraud

  • Beware of promises of high returns for no risk. These kinds of investment opportunities are more than just unrealistic: they, quite simply, do not exist. All investments involve some level of risk, and the higher the potential returns, the higher the risk. 
  • Take time to think things through. Don’t hurry to invest your money or send it to someone you’ve never met.
  • Do your own research before investing. Don’t rely solely on the advice of someone you’ve met on a social media platform or dating app or site. Always make sure the offer is legitimate by checking a number of trusted sources. As a general rule, anyone offering you an investment product or giving you financial advice must be registered with the AMF. If they are, they will be in the AMF register and you can contact them using their details in the register to verify their identity.
  • Never share your personal information. Never give someone your passwords or access to your computer, especially not strangers claiming to want to help you with your investments. A fraudster will steal your identity and your money.
  • Never transfer money to someone, even for a medical emergency. If someone asks you for money for an emergency, be wary, especially if you’ve never met them in person.
  • Seek the opinion of family and friends you trust. The thought of meeting someone we seem to share common interests with can be exciting. A person you trust can help you take a step back and see things objectively.
  • Ask for a video and audio call. If the person is really interested and wants to prove that they are the real deal, they should be open to meeting with you on a video and audio call. Be wary if the person constantly brings up technical issues affecting their microphone or webcam.
  • Be alert to inconsistencies. Fake profiles can contain inconsistencies, such as an e-mail address that doesn’t match their name or discrepancies between the information on their profile or social media account and the things they tell you. Do on-line searches to verify the information provided. If you can’t find anything, the individual has likely given you false information.

What to do in the event of fraud

Anyone can be a victim of fraud, so don’t beat yourself up. Scammers are skilled at exploiting emotions and feelings of attachment in order to extract as much money from their victims as possible.

  • Refer to the You're a victim of fraud? page to find out what to do, and contact the AMF if the fraud involves purported investments.
  • You should also break off all communications with the person or persons involved and stop sending money.

Be careful: Fraudsters often target their victims more than once. They may contact you claiming to be a lawyer, financial institution or firm specializing in financial fraud cases and offer to recover the money you lost.